guess i’ll end this blog
k…
01/31/2011
Dear Fringe,
WHAT THE FUCK SHITBALLS OH MY GOD WHAT HAPPENED MAN.
YOU REALLY THREW ME FOR A LOOP WHAT THE FUCK?
WHAT THE BITCH
FIRST YOU MAKE ME THINK BRANDON IS THE BAD GUY WHICH, ON ITS OWN, HAD ME WRITHING WITH DISCOMFORT
I MEAN FUCKING BRANDON, REALLY?
FUCKING BRANDON?
THE PUREST PERSON ON THE SHOW AND I’M LED TO BELIEVE THAT HE IS A SHAPE SHIFTER?
I WAS OKAY WHEN YOU CLARIFIED THAT HE WASN’T…
BUT THEN… FUCKING PETER?
FUCKING PETER?!?!?!?!?
WHAT THE BITCH TITS BALLS FUCK SLUT PROSTITUTE JUSTIN BIEBER LIL WAYNE DONKEY SHIT PENGUIN BARF IS GOING ON?
WHEN ARE HIM AND OLIVIA GOING TO KISS
I AM SO FUCKING…..DGHSKHDRIOAHEOIG
HOLY FUCKING DEVIL DOGS
POINT IS, FRINGE IS FUCKING MY BALLS
SERIOUSLY FUCKING WITH MY BALLS
IF THIS KEEPS UP I SWEAR I’M GONNA HAVE A HEART ATTACK
SERIOUSLY
I HAVE POOR DIET CHOICES AND PROBABLY HYPERTENSION OR TOO MUCH OF SOME OF THAT CHOLESTEROL SHIT
LITERAL.
HEART ATTACK.
AND NOW I WANT DEVIL DOGS WHYYYYYYYYYYY
01/16/2011
Nyah Nyah Nyah
My apologies for not updating very often, but I’ve been very busy, you see. Watching movies. Because I watched so many, I’m just going to do a quick little review of each.
Say Anything… (1989)
I loved this movie because of Jon Cusack. Ione Skye, meh. But John Cusack had the loveliest personality I’ve ever seen in a main character. He was nervous and gentlemanly. He made a lot of shit in that movie believable.
Can’t Buy Me Love (1987)
I hated this movie. I didn’t even make any gifs of it. WHY DO I HATE IT, you ask? Simple: Patrick ‘Motherfucker’ Dempsey. Ugh, I use the comparison of sounding like young Josh from Drake & Josh, but he looks like older, thinned, pedobear Josh.
It’s like, “NYAH NYAH NYAH I’M FUCKING PATRICK DEMPSEY I WEAR NONPRESCRIPTION GLASSES AND I’M ON GREY’S ANATOMY. FUCKING WORSHIP ME.” Ew, Patrick. Gross. Anyone who loves Patrick Dempsey hasn’t seen this movie. He looks like a Jew. (I love Jews, though. Just not him when he looks like one.)
I wasn’t crazy about Amanda Peterson’s hair, either. You shouldn’t do a perm on hair that thin. *shiver*
Ferris Bueller’s Day Off (1986)
I don’t know, this is another movie directed by John Hughes. I can’t *not* love John Hughes movies. Matthew Broderick was adorable, and so was Alan Ruck and Mia Sara. I really loved everything about this movie, especially because of Matthew Broderick and Alan Ruck. They are so awesome together.
Sixteen Candles (1984)
John Hughes. What else can I say? Also, there’s something truly amazing about this movie. Jake Ryan. A.K.A Michael Schoeffling of whom I have the sneaking suspicion might be dead. Seriously his IMDB is empty. Anyways, he is quite attractive in that movie even by today’s standards. Anthony Michael Hall plays an annoyingly cliche nerd, but I’m still impressed by him. He pulls off looking like a freshman compared to Molly Ringwald, and then a year later looks her age in The Breakfast Club. Touche, Anthony Michael Hall….touche.
Meet the Robinsons (2007)
I don’t know why. Started watching it because I was told it was good, ended up loving it for Wesley Singerman. Although, can I just point something out? They didn’t follow the rules of the fucking space time continuum. This is not Back to the Future! You cannot get away with things like that simply because you’re Michael J. Fox. HE WASN’T EVEN IN THE MOVIE ANYWAYS SO I DON’T UNDERSTAND HOW THEY GOT AWAY WITH THOSE THINGS.
The Princess Diaries 2: Royal Engagement (2004)
..It was on TV, idk.
Also, holy shit did you know Chris Pine is in that movie?! WITH HAIR. Omg…
The Breakfast Club (1985)
John Hughes strikes again. Actually, I’m watching this movie tonight. But I’ve already seen it once so BLAH. Ally Sheedy is so wonderful. I want to marry her.
Easy A (2010)
I heard it was nominated for a Golden Globe, and my friends liked it, and I was bored. So I watched it. It should be acknowledged that this movie led me to re-watch most of the aforementioned movies. It contained a chalice of 1980’s movie references and satisfied the pretend 1980’s teenager inside of me. It’s pretty wonderful in all respects, and I think it should win whatever Golden Globe it was nominated for. It just touches on some weird topics and also bashes Christianity. Don’t even get me started on Stanley Tucci. So wonderful. I love that man.
If someone feels like asking for the links, I’ll put them up. But otherwise, suck it up and look for them I have midterms to study for.
yes, i did spell assuming wrong. if you wanted to comment on that, please refer to the american dad gif directly above the chris pine kissing anne hathaway gif
01/11/2011
The Cape
01/01/2011
Happy Superficial New Year!!
Yeah, I don’t see why people get excited over a new year. As I told my friend, everyone thinks that the new year is gonna be better. They think that everything’s gonna be okay. They say, “new year new me.” Oh yeah? Is that so? I think they believe people are going to be so busy correcting the dates on their papers that they will forget all of the other person’s past fuck-ups. No, everyone still remembers your mistakes.
I guess that’s pretty cynical even for me, but oh well. I spent New Year’s alone watching Kick-Ass.
And now for a review of Kick-Ass
Okay, first things first. Aaron Johnson.
...not a nerd
Somehow, they got this six-packed, doe-eyed fucking prince to look like a nerd. That on its own is movie magic.
So anyways, in the movie he’s just this teenager, being normal and living the life of a boy teenager – jerking off a lot and liking boobies. And he has sort of the same thought as I do: why hasn’t anyone tried to be a superhero before?
- doesn’t count.
So he does it. Like, that’s how it segues into him being a superhero. Of course I guess he has the power to tolerate pain or whatever. And so his image spreads like wildfire and people are like “WHO THE FUCK IS KICK-ASS???” And guess who notices Kick-Ass? You guessed it: a trigger-happy little family played by Nicholas Cage and Chloe Moretz.
such innocence
…who decide it would be cool to be superheroes too.
…So anyways, my brother recommended this to me. And he’s recommended movies before. Like, The Dark Knight, or Burn After Reading. …Mhm. Do you remember when I mentioned Burn After Reading in a post? I was under the impression it was comedy. It was the same dealio with Kick-Ass…
So when Kick-Ass went to a black guy’s house and was about to get his ass kicked, I thought the trigger-happy family would humorously beat up the black guys. NOPE, WRONG.
For the next…however long that scene was, my family room was filled with shouts of “HOLY FUCKING FUCK….SHIT. OH SHHHHIT, FUCK.” I ended up behind my couch, faintly regretting the decision to watch this movie. To be blunt, this movie is not for the faint of heart, and is certainly not for anyone in my anatomy class… (Come on guys, let’s making it through one goddamn movie without one of you fainting!) But if you can get used to gore, it’s all around a really, really good movie.
like a grape
It’s actually along the same premise as Burn After Reading, in that a few people get caught up in a shit storm of gore and violence.
So, I recommend seeing it if you’re not in my anatomy class. Because it’s great, Nick Cage is awesome, and so is Aaron Johnson (and everyone else.) I hope I didn’t ruin the movie for you.
Also, a bit of a pet peeve…For the people who say that books are better than the movies made as results of those books, FUCK YOU. Because if you haven’t read those books, you won’t care if the books were better, and if you have, there’s a really good chance you agree with the statement that the books are better. I’ve seen movies made from books I’ve read, and so far they’ve all been respectful to the book with their own twists on the perception of the book. Harry Potter movies? Glorious. I have no complaints. The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy? It stuck pretty good to the book, and although the ending was off, I still have no complaints. Who cares if they have Zooey Deschanel hook up with a british guy? I CERTAINLY DON’T. I kinda figured they weren’t going to make all the movies anyways. Stop shitting on their attempts to make a lot of readers happy. You just look like whiny little bitches.
This is me as a superhero:
The McFlyinator
I got this hat for Christmas and so far have made no attempts to take it off.
The soundtrack was heavenly, too. It had this song in it. Speaking of soundtracks, have not stopped listening to the TRON soundtrack. So beautiful.
**EDIT: my favorite part of Kick-Ass was OBVIOUSLY Aaron’s voice. ♥
12/29/2010
TRON: Legacy
My friend said that tonight, after we were finished seeing TRON: Legacy, I should go home and blag about it. Here’s my review of TRON: Legacy, as a favor to my friend:
BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH TRON: LEGACY BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAHBLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAHBLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAHBLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAHBLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAHBLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAHBLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAHBLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAHBLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH
OLIVIA WILDE BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH SHE WAS IN TRON: LEGACY BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH
GARRETT HEDLUND IS VERY ATTRACTIVE BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BUT HE DOESN’T EVEN GET ANY ACTION FROM OLIVIA BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH HE WALKS FUNNY BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH
JEFF BRIDGES BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAHBLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAHBLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAHBLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAHBLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH
BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH
BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAHBLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAHBLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAHBLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAHBLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAHBLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAHBLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAHBLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAHBLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAHBLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAHBLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAHBLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAHBLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH
- BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH HOLY SHIT MICHAEL SHEEN BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH
BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAHBLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAHBLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAHBLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAHBLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH SPECIAL EFFECTS
BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAHBLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAHBLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAHBLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAHBLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH AESTHETICALLY PLEASING
BLAH BLAH BLAH OLIVIA IS SO FUCKING HOT BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH
BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAHBLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAHBLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAHBLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAHBLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAHBLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAHBLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAHBLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAHBLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH
12/15/2010
):
I have too much to do right before vacation. I dare you to not watch this video and enjoy it. It will tide you over until I can find time.
11/08/2010
Bella, I Want You
I just tried watching Eclipse. I’m sorry, but I couldn’t make it. I cried at 10 minutes in. It’s so bad, but not so bad it’s funny. Let me explain
terrible movies = funny
Troll 2 = bad
So, Troll 2 = funny
Eclipse = TERRIBLE
but Eclipse ≠ funny
??????????!!!!!!!!!!!!! IT GOES AGAINST NATURE
Now. Let me explain the plot
Hi, my name is Bella Swan. I have an uncool dad who has a gun and cares about me. I do not have even a hint of a personality, and my boyfriend is dead but I still like to make out with him in strange meadows. When I grow up, I wanna be dead just like my boyfriend!
Bella, I love you. In the creepiest way possible.
Bella, I love you. In the no-shirtiest way possible.
Now I am conflicted but you cannot tell because I refuse to show any emotion.
Bella, I lov- oh. Um, Bella, I want your blood for some reason.
Oh, are we talking about how we all stalk Bella? I want you too, Bella. For a reason the Tasteless Music writer did not stay tuned long enough to find out. Did I mention I’m the best looking actor here? Hah, well I am.
Hey Bella. I want you.
I want you, Bella.
I want you Bella.
I want you so bad, Bella.
BRAD PITT WANTS BELLA.
We do not want you, Bella.
Bdbrbdbrbdbrbdbrbdbrbdbrbdbdbrbdbdbddbdbdbbbbbbrdbbdbdbd I want you Bella.
I want you, Bella.
To sum up, everyone in the whole wide world wants Bella. My plan is to form a Kool-aid cult and kill ourselves because I no longer want to be a part of this earth.
Tasteless Music 